Thursday, November 16, 2006

Fergie, the early years

Turns out most recent addition to the BEP group was in fact, the long ago long time member and performer from K.I.D.S INC., by far one of my most favorite and obsessively watched tv shows when I was.....a kid. She was none other than STACY FERGUSON, the blonde curly and perky haired dancing and singing sensation-performing with many other cast members, recognizable ones? Martika? Love Hewitt, aka Jennifer Love Hewitt, she went by her true first name then, Love, yes Love.
The song still plays in my head....Kids incorporated.....K! I! D! S! yeah, Kids Incorporated........K! I! D! S!......looks like we've made it, we're Kids incorporated.......YEAH~!


Ok, that show....and Mickey Mouse Club....those were my early teen faves.....yeah.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

here we are

today is the one year anniversary of molly's death. she and i used to be connected at the hip-i have been thinking about it a lot these last few days, especially since i got fired last friday. i am not....miserable...despite the desire to despair. (bam) i am actually three things: tired, reflective and hopefully pleasant. i will be 29 at the end of the month and i just feel this may be a pivotal year for me. which is exciting. i am off to see my friend perform in what promises to be a fantastic performance!

Ciao

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Deliberations (or) Bacon-Bringing (or) You're Fired!

So I had an opportunity to ask myself a question that I hoped I would never have to ask myself again, and that is-should I wait tables? (remember the subtitle of this blog is deliberations of a disgruntled waitress, after all) After some 24 hours of deliberation, the answer is a resounding no, but the condition that caused the question in the first place still exists.

I find myself in that position where there is no position. And no savings. And no prospects. And very very little money. And lots of pending bills. What happened? Well.....

Friday, Nov. 4, 2006.
4:45pm.
I was fired.

I was offered three weeks severance for the three loyal years I'd been there. I was offered the "chance" to resign. I was amicably escorted out of the building. My hand was shook. My bags were packed. I said goodbye for the last time to people who didn't realize it was the last time. "See you on Monday!" they said. I smiled but didn't speak....why tell a lie after all?

Now what happened? Nothing in particular, really. My sales were up, my quarterly review was quite good, I had just won two sales contests in a row. But...they never really got over the 'incident' from two years ago. They never felt comfortable around me....how many times did people whisper when I was around....jokingly said things I said were 'too smart' for them. I was always working on improving myself, they said. And that was really strange for them. They kept saying how..impressed....they were with me. I knew the truth. I didn't fit in to their dynamic.

And when they announced the hiring of 5 new sales people and I counted 4 cubicles available, I actually thought to myself, hmmm.....too bad my job search hasn't been going well b/c they could probably use my desk.....I had even met with a headhunter already. Well, didn't they beat me to the punch? That part kind of pisses me off.
But the whole not being there part is, yes, it is great and weird. I never ever minded the job itself. The people and their expectations of me doing the job were something that was SUCKING MY SOUL.

Luckily I have all sorts of wise people giving me advice already and I am busy, very busy trying to beat the money train. My life has taken on a new focus....bacon bringing, if you know what I mean. Certain things are being put on hold for now.....

But back to the waiting tables bit-a kind friend took me out on Saturday and I found myself asking the server if they were hiring. He was really sweet and before I knew it I was promising to bring my resume in but when the meal was over I realized the ship had sailed for me on that bidness.....I could no more wait tables again then I could pick up a sail boat. I just don't have the strength....so until I find my dream job I am putting myself at the mercy of the temp agencies. We shall see how it goes....

Most heard comment this weekend:"This is probably just a blessing in disguise..."