Can I get a side of chips with that CHEESE?

DISCLAIMER: what you are about to read may be construed as cheesy. a cheesy topic. one that no matter what adj's I use will sound very strange, boring and annoying to some ears. (if it were spoken aloud, that is.....)

I don't know if it is a cliche or not but you know how the Eskimos have so many words for snow? We should have more for love. I have been contemplating my emotions (well throughout life I do this on a daily basis) and pondering the nature of some of my feelings for some people in my life.

These thoughts have led to the perhaps more universal topic of how does one comprehend the emotion of love. How is it described and defined?

How would you describe it?

I think I have "feelings" for this guy I know, but he isn't so handsome, I would cuddle with him, but not sleep with him. I'm sure if I tried I could come up with completely valid, adult reasons (aside from lack of physical attraction) that I should never date him. Yet I feel so strongly about him. I also had not too long ago an intense physical attraction for another man but had no desire to be his friend at all.

Neither of those things amount to the love I think exists out there but have never really experienced and I would never diminish the emotions felt with all past relationships and friendships for that matter. I have so much and I physically FEEL it in my heart sometimes, sometimes I feel it in my stomach. Sometimes I go crazy with love to feel but have not the outlets to give. (working on it, you know?)

Does anyone else feel it this way? I simply wonder.....

Lunch Break Fodder

I am having a hard time reconciling my belief that we (all people, but women especially) can choose our own external images with freedom and independence(better adj to come later) with the mounting evidence that perhaps our desire to do so is subconciously motivated by the white/male/super/power structure as a means to keep us subjugated.

For example, does wanting to straighten my hair mean I have a desire to be white? Or that I can only be beautiful if I more closely resemble a white woman? And what about my friend who wants a nose job? She is already stunning to look at and has her own business and is a writer besides--does this financially exorbitant and unnecessary choice reflect an effort to show the world (or her jealous boyfriend) that she is not as successful as she really is? I mean, after all, she has a big nose!

I have been reading Naomi Wolf, for about a year now....slow anger reading, I think. And this is some food for thought!