Thursday, October 26, 2006
in about two weeks or so
here we are again right around my favorite time of year and i have agreed surreptitiously to participate in a poetry thing. don't know what it's called and haven't been officially confirmed but it means i will be getting up in front of people (unprecedented) and speaking words. words that i hope will flow-and move and transform, words as yet unwritten mostly. how did this come about you ask? i recited my one single memorized piece to a lady with power and she liked it. i liked that she liked it and i like to speak it so why haven't i done so in 5 years? don't know, didn't feel the flow i guess. but now i am hoping it will revisit my dry river bed of creativity and rush and gush throughout my mind b/c i think she said i have to have 5-10 mins of stuff and while i am sure i currently have at least 60 mins, only a couple of mins of it is stuff i want strangers to hear.....we shall see, wish me love and luck? let me know if you wanna come.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Dreaming
So I have noticed a new recurring theme in my dreams lately. Over the last few weeks I have been having two different types of dreams with varying elements in them and they have both stayed in my brain/soul/state of being throughout not only entire days but entire weeks-you know when you have a really pervasive/realistic dream and all day you feel like the dream was more real than the reality you are in at the moment?
OK.
Dream theme #1:
Winter/skiing/mountain. I am traveling to the mountain/at the mountain. I am usually with friends (in one dream I was having my wedding at a ski resort) I am NOT cold. I am skiing and having interactions with people from my past mostly, or made-up dream friends and such....I am skiing with confidence through trees. Once again, I am NOT cold. Sometimes there is an element of attempt in there-like, I am attempting to have my wedding but can't quite get to that point yet (sort of like trying to run but only staying in place) but there is no feeling of discord or frustration related to the stagnation of the attempt...like we are all waiting for tomorrow but it doesn't come.
So I looked up some elements on DREAMMOODS.com:
Winter
To dream of winter, signifies ill-health, depression. and misfortune. For others, it may symbolize a favorite time of the year signaling the holiday season of fun and frolic.
Woods
To see the woods in your dream, represents life, fertility, rejuvenation, and spring. Alternatively, it symbolizes the unknown and unconscious. You may be discovering your instinctual nature.
To dream that you are walking through the woods, signifies your return to an aspect of yourself that is innocent and spiritual.
To dream that you are lost in the woods, indicates that you are starting a new phase in your life. You are expressing some anxiety about leaving behind the familiar and what you know.
To see dried up, dying woods in your dream, suggests that there is a situation in your life that has not yet been resolved. You may also be overwhelmed with a problem or issue.
Skiing
To dream that you are skiing, suggests that you are pushing yourself and putting your mental and/or physical ability to the test. You are your own fiercest competitor.
Wedding
To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are generally negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence.
To dream that you are getting married to your current spouse again, represents your wedded bliss and happiness. It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may also signify a new phase (such as parenthood) that you are entering in your life.
To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side.
If you are getting married and have dreams of your pending wedding, then it highlights the stress of organizing a wedding. Conflicts over wedding details, tension with family and in-laws, fear of commitment, and loss of independence may all cause wedding anxiety dreams. Research has shown that up to 40% of brides and grooms have dreams about their ceremony and things going perfectly. * See The Meaning In Action:
From this what makes sense is that my masculine and feminine side are becoming more balanced, I have taken on more responsibility in both my work and personal life and I have been pushing myself beyond my thus far known abilities-it has been overwhelming but not necessarily in a bad way-though I do feel like I need a vacation! The first three paragraphs on woods could ALL be true.....the winter thing-well I am not depressed in the slightest and fall does happen to be my favorite part of the year-fall into winter (even though I am not a fan of winter) I just love the things that happen starting end of October through Jan 1st......including my birthday and Thanksgiving, adoption anniversary and Halloween....
Dream theme #2:
My other recurring theme in my dreams is that of a VAST VAST basement- something usually small, vulnerable and valuable falls into this basement through a crack in the floor. In the first dream it was my cat, Addy, and the second time it was my co-workers brand new baby niece....and then the dream becomes this incredible journey (with ghosts and monsters, but usually not too scary) to FIND how to get down to this VAST basement and then, once said basement entryway is found, another journey ensues to find the missing loved one.....so I looked up:
Basement
To dream that you are in a basement, symbolizes your unconscious mind and intuition. The appearance of the basement is an indication of your unconscious state of mind and level of satisfaction.
To dream that the basement is in disarray and messy, signifies some confusion in which you need to sort out. It may also represent your perceived faults and shortcomings.
And I thought about it, and it's not so much that my basements are cluttered but that they are vast and maze-like.....with things changing constantly in them.....now does the vastness have to do with my satisfaction? I doubt it.....now I looked up cat and baby and neither of those seemed right and I will not paste them here BUT I did check lost and find and they seem to have something that makes more sense:
Lost
To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life. Alternatively, you may be trying to adjust and get accustomed to a new situation in which the rules and conditions are ever changing.
To dream that someone else is lost, represents unresolved issues or feelings regarding the person that is lost. Consider also what aspect of that person you may have lost within your own self. Perhaps you need to recapture and re-acknowledge those aspects.
This second is more accurate-I do have unresolved issues with both baby and cat-ironically and incredibly. Working on that one....but then there is find:
Find
To dream that you find something, suggests that you are coming into contact with some aspect of your psyche or unconscious. You are recognizing a part of yourself that was previously repressed or undeveloped. Alternatively, it represents change.
To dream that you find someone, indicates that you are identifying new facets of a relationship. You may be taking the relationship to a new level and/or direction.
To dream that you cannot find a friend, suggests that you have lost or rejected certain qualities in yourself that are depicted by your friend. Alternatively, you may be feeling lonely and are seeking companionship.
Now this seems way more likely for me for several reasons.
Anyway, I still think the VAST basement means something-not just the things I lose in the basement. Hmmm.....I ponder
OK.
Dream theme #1:
Winter/skiing/mountain. I am traveling to the mountain/at the mountain. I am usually with friends (in one dream I was having my wedding at a ski resort) I am NOT cold. I am skiing and having interactions with people from my past mostly, or made-up dream friends and such....I am skiing with confidence through trees. Once again, I am NOT cold. Sometimes there is an element of attempt in there-like, I am attempting to have my wedding but can't quite get to that point yet (sort of like trying to run but only staying in place) but there is no feeling of discord or frustration related to the stagnation of the attempt...like we are all waiting for tomorrow but it doesn't come.
So I looked up some elements on DREAMMOODS.com:
Winter
To dream of winter, signifies ill-health, depression. and misfortune. For others, it may symbolize a favorite time of the year signaling the holiday season of fun and frolic.
Woods
To see the woods in your dream, represents life, fertility, rejuvenation, and spring. Alternatively, it symbolizes the unknown and unconscious. You may be discovering your instinctual nature.
To dream that you are walking through the woods, signifies your return to an aspect of yourself that is innocent and spiritual.
To dream that you are lost in the woods, indicates that you are starting a new phase in your life. You are expressing some anxiety about leaving behind the familiar and what you know.
To see dried up, dying woods in your dream, suggests that there is a situation in your life that has not yet been resolved. You may also be overwhelmed with a problem or issue.
Skiing
To dream that you are skiing, suggests that you are pushing yourself and putting your mental and/or physical ability to the test. You are your own fiercest competitor.
Wedding
To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are generally negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence.
To dream that you are getting married to your current spouse again, represents your wedded bliss and happiness. It highlights your strong commitment to each other. It may also signify a new phase (such as parenthood) that you are entering in your life.
To dream that you are planning your own wedding to someone you never met, is a metaphor symbolizing the union of your masculine and feminine side. It represents a transitional phase where you are seeking some sort of balance between your aggressive side and emotional side.
If you are getting married and have dreams of your pending wedding, then it highlights the stress of organizing a wedding. Conflicts over wedding details, tension with family and in-laws, fear of commitment, and loss of independence may all cause wedding anxiety dreams. Research has shown that up to 40% of brides and grooms have dreams about their ceremony and things going perfectly. * See The Meaning In Action:
From this what makes sense is that my masculine and feminine side are becoming more balanced, I have taken on more responsibility in both my work and personal life and I have been pushing myself beyond my thus far known abilities-it has been overwhelming but not necessarily in a bad way-though I do feel like I need a vacation! The first three paragraphs on woods could ALL be true.....the winter thing-well I am not depressed in the slightest and fall does happen to be my favorite part of the year-fall into winter (even though I am not a fan of winter) I just love the things that happen starting end of October through Jan 1st......including my birthday and Thanksgiving, adoption anniversary and Halloween....
Dream theme #2:
My other recurring theme in my dreams is that of a VAST VAST basement- something usually small, vulnerable and valuable falls into this basement through a crack in the floor. In the first dream it was my cat, Addy, and the second time it was my co-workers brand new baby niece....and then the dream becomes this incredible journey (with ghosts and monsters, but usually not too scary) to FIND how to get down to this VAST basement and then, once said basement entryway is found, another journey ensues to find the missing loved one.....so I looked up:
Basement
To dream that you are in a basement, symbolizes your unconscious mind and intuition. The appearance of the basement is an indication of your unconscious state of mind and level of satisfaction.
To dream that the basement is in disarray and messy, signifies some confusion in which you need to sort out. It may also represent your perceived faults and shortcomings.
And I thought about it, and it's not so much that my basements are cluttered but that they are vast and maze-like.....with things changing constantly in them.....now does the vastness have to do with my satisfaction? I doubt it.....now I looked up cat and baby and neither of those seemed right and I will not paste them here BUT I did check lost and find and they seem to have something that makes more sense:
Lost
To dream that you are lost, suggests that you have lost your direction in life or that you have lost sight of your goals. You may be feeling worried and insecure about the path you are taking in life. Alternatively, you may be trying to adjust and get accustomed to a new situation in which the rules and conditions are ever changing.
To dream that someone else is lost, represents unresolved issues or feelings regarding the person that is lost. Consider also what aspect of that person you may have lost within your own self. Perhaps you need to recapture and re-acknowledge those aspects.
This second is more accurate-I do have unresolved issues with both baby and cat-ironically and incredibly. Working on that one....but then there is find:
Find
To dream that you find something, suggests that you are coming into contact with some aspect of your psyche or unconscious. You are recognizing a part of yourself that was previously repressed or undeveloped. Alternatively, it represents change.
To dream that you find someone, indicates that you are identifying new facets of a relationship. You may be taking the relationship to a new level and/or direction.
To dream that you cannot find a friend, suggests that you have lost or rejected certain qualities in yourself that are depicted by your friend. Alternatively, you may be feeling lonely and are seeking companionship.
Now this seems way more likely for me for several reasons.
Anyway, I still think the VAST basement means something-not just the things I lose in the basement. Hmmm.....I ponder
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