opportunities abound

it's true what they say about positivity. it's also true what they say about sleep. you need it. more than what i have normally been getting lately. i have this thing where i need to veg for about two hours every day before i go to bed. no matter what time i get done with the days' activities. for example, no matter if i get done with running, 2 loads laundry, making food for the next week and washing dishes and making my mom's bday present at 1130pm. i still need to sit and stare for awhile, either at a book or at a television. i cannot fall asleep. which is unfortunate because then i am groggy tired the next day and more prone to sickness. i really digress though.

what i really wanted to talk about is how this weekend i discovered i can shop at a store again that i could not shop at before. it is my favorite store, a place i have shopped at since i was in 7th grade, yes, i still like their styles and i am not ashamed. but about 3 years ago i went there on a whim and discovered that i had outgrown them. literally. and i cried, right there in the store, both at the force of the realization that i really had gotten 'that big' and at the fact that the stupid store didn't carry larger sizes for people like me. i was standing at a clothes rack, arms full with pants that didn't fit and the bewildered young sales gentleman trying to help me looked like he was about to cry too. he had walked up to me as the awareness was dawning on me and asked if i needed help. i asked him if he had any sizes larger than the ones in my hands and he said he could call some other stores and see. i asked him if he had ever seen the size that i was looking for and he said 'oh for sure' but he was a bad liar. that was when the tears started streaming down my face and he was apalled on my behalf and tried to be really comforting. then i just handed him the clothes in as little of a huff as possible (it wasn't his fault), and walked out of the store. i wandered for a bit that day and discovered the Gap. they had stuff my size and though it was a relief, it was by far, a very traumatic day for me.

this weekend i went in there on a whim, i have no scale at home and have been only fairly certain that my body is changing as a result. i am running a lot these days in preparation for a 10k race April 26th, so i just thought, let's try it. let's just try it. i had a friend with me who i knew would be really supportive if it didn't work out, but much to my surprise and glee, it did work out. not only can i wear their largest size, but i can even go a size down on some styles. very very exciting. and to top it all off, i got word that two very promising opportunities may be coming my way soon. choices! i have choices and that is better than candy.