mixed emotions

i had a cat for about 4 weeks, big with large claws. much to my sadness, he managed irreparably to destroy a $300 air mattress. i tried to keep it away from him but he got into the closet and got his claws into the material. i have a friend coming to stay with me in two days and my bed is broken and gives me terrible back pain and now i have nowhere for her to sleep. or me, for that matter. there is nothing i can do about it now but i am fighting an anger and disappointment. i wish i had some money to buy a bed or a new mattress. sometimes i regret decisions i make that make my life harder and then i feel terribly guilty about it. i am all mixed up about it. i am still recovering from joblessness and debt, which makes me very painfully aware at how destitute i have been in the $ department all these years. i have been blessed enough to have some things, but not enough to be able to replace them when they are destroyed. i have that song running through my head though....im coming up. i want the world to know. i just hit my shins a couple times along the way.