Winter Hats

The difference between women who own a car in Chicago, and women who don't, is easily discernible by her headwear during the winter months.

One would think that a quick glance at the feet would be enough to know (heels=car, sensible walking shoes that may or may not be cute=no car) but I find that without a doubt, hands down, the more sure way to assess someone's car ownership status is to look at her head. If she is wearing something stylish but flimsy, something that only half covers her ears, or worse, does not even graze the top of the ear lobe, than she is undoubtedly, a car owner. She may take the train here and there, she may be known to hop on a bus, but rest assured, she owns a car and uses it frequently to do things like shop for food or go to the movies on the weekends.

If her head is completely invisible under some combination of a cavernous hood and comfy-looking hat, or her ears are covered completely in some witty way, then she is a pedestrian extraordinaire. As a pedestrian extraordinaire, I am at times awonder at the large amount of cute but non-sensible, non-warm, head fashion available at the many department stores I pass by every day. Twice, I have been given gifts by women who primarily drive cars. VERY cute winter wear, but in no way useful to me as a pedestrian. I have bitten the bullet and worn both gifts countless times (reason be damned), but my ears were angry that I did. I am still apologizing, in fact, to my right ear lobe. Seems pretty earrings do not appease her.