Internet Dating Antics

I think we learn a lot about ourselves when trying to online date, for example, how open-minded we truly are, how much of our ego makes the decision when deciding to send a 'wink' or accept a request to talk.

I harp so much on men who only date beautiful women and yet, online, I have a REALLY HARD TIME being open to and accepting a conversation with a man I don't find initially attractive. I know, from real life experience, that men I do not initially find handsome do in fact, become beautiful to me on account of their character or mannerisms, but, unfortunately, this can never be discerned on an internet dating site.

But where do I draw the line? I am committed (call it a New Year's resolution, if you will) to putting myself out there for the whole of 2013, or at least until I have a boyfriend. I am going to be 36 this year and my baby box is starting to get stale, so I'm drawing on courage, humility, and the willingness to open myself up to rejection and potential heartache in order to make some changes in my life.

But does that mean the man with bad skin, who looks much older than his professed 40 years, is a 'good match' for me? He mentioned he liked to play volleyball but he lives in Milwaukee and I wonder if he means crappy church ball, like 79% of the population that says they love volleyball. In order to eliminate him from my "I should give everyone a chance because I don't want to seem shallow and quick to judge" list, I considered sending him a message about whether he preferred a 5-1 or a 6-2 defense and how often he played doubles at the beach, but instead, I just ignored his message and deleted him from my list of potentials.

This time around (yes, I have done this before), I have a few ground rules. If he sends me a message but does not actually personalize it, or mentions his propensity for casual sex, or is completely outside of my age range, he does not get a response. Unless he is young and earnest, than I kindly tell him he will find a special lady but that I am not it, and good luck. I did that the other day, and this very young man came back with another note basically saying "please give me a chance!" I still said no, but I felt bad about it.

Anyhow, today I got a message from a man in Macedonia. Forty-three years old. Only wants women between the ages of 28 and 38. Can I just tell you, that it is 100% unanimous amongst my female friends and family, that a man who refuses to date a woman within his age range is immediately suspect. Traditionalist dogma, inequality, power trip, ego-driven are some of the terms that come to mind.

The implications of such a thing, to me, seem to immediately fly in the face of my own personal beliefs about the purpose of marriage. I believe that the purpose of marriage is to establish and promote unity, fellowship and harmony, the conditions of which are total equality and justice within the partnership, with both parties equally serving the other to travel further along their spiritual paths.... and to have babies.

But aside from all that, Macedonia?

So yes, this guy goes on my "no-reply" list. It's kind of like a "no fly" list except these men can still fly. And I am not the FBI.

(Here is where I mention that I was also contacted by a man in his 50s whose profile told me he lives in Australia, and is married, and is completely open with his wife about needing intellectual conversations with other females. No reply.)