Confirmation

I have struggled to explain, articulate, clarify the feeling I have had brewing in my soul these past few weeks/months. I still am struggling, and at some point, it is my hope to be able to put it down on paper in as eloquent a way as possible. Now is not that time. But I need to say something. I need to see it manifest through the tips of my fingers, to help draw shape and form to emotion, because soon, very soon, I anticipate a call to action on the very things in my heart that I can barely contain at this moment. Let's call it confirmation. Let's call it light after 35 years of darkness. Let's call it joy in the face of defeat and strength in the face of weakness. Let's call it, I don't know....my every hapiness and confidence returned. A lot of things have fed into this moment, this growth. Greenlake this year was perhaps the tipping point, where I was asked to do something that in as many years as I have been alive would have triggered abject shame, fear and self-hatred, but instead showed me how far I have come to finding what everyone else has known all along. My friends can thoroughly attest to my struggles and my barriers, and I wish I could write the very moment down of triumph for you to experience as well, but to do so would be to overshare and divulge, when I am looking to maintain my boundaries, even to an audience as minimal as those who read my blog. My career path is finally being validated, my strengths are revealed and I know where I am starting to go and it is all very exciting. Other things will happen, good things. I am looking forward to them all.