quit dousing my wonderment

i am a little annoyed at the people who like to remind me that i am young. when i was 18 i thought i was pretty grown, and when i was 22, i realized 'grown' is a relative term. i am aware that occasionally i make comments that highlight my relative youth when speaking to people who are older than me, but the deprecating "you're young" with the tone to imply "you are foolish" or "you just have the incapability to understand the way I do" is not so much welcome.

this is not a huge thing. just something i have thought to myself many times over the years. lately, b/c i have the blessing of being surrounded by people who have the ability to love and respect, for the most part, this happens less and less these days.

but now, just for speculation.... people who say "you're still young" when you tell them your age are usually no more than 5 years older than me. (people my parents age who say this are...exempt from this speculation) they say it not necessarily with condescension, not everytime anyway. most times its "how old are you?" "28" "oh, you're still young" as though this were the automatic response one was required to say.....but sometimes it's a sort of an unspoken "well just you remember that i am older than you" but ok, so, am I somehow proud of "turning" 28? Is there a pride in my voice when I say my age and people feel the need to remind me that nothing, in fact, has been accomplished to be proud of just because I survived another year of living? Maybe that is it, maybe that is why it offends me so....but I am thinking, when will these people, these 30 yr olds and 33 year olds and 29 year olds stop saying, oh you're still young?

at some point, (age 53, maybe) will they start saying, "you're getting up there?" or "you are the perfect age" These numbers lose their significance the more I think about them, certainly with each new birthday....from now on when people say deprecatingly, you're still young, I am going to merely say, well I am older today than I was yesterday and that is a new experience for me, and I like that!

Because I do.

I like my life and I like my age and I like thinking about yesterday and how it changed me today and how my age is one way of assessing time-positive things occur in time like growth and friendships and college degrees and house plants and seasons and the like. I am still young but I don't want to think of it as "still" because that implies that someday I will no longer be young (which is true) but that somehow, when my youth has passed, so will some form of carefree life....and that ain't no way of looking at things, you know?

anyway, i had a good birthday. tame. a friend took me out to an expensive dinner and i bought a pretty velvet jacket and danced a little and wore glittery jewelry and ate pumpkin cheesecake with a candle in it. did not eat the candle. loved ones called me (ABI called from China) and sang wonderful and varying happy birthday songs (didn't know there were so many) and I smiled a lot yesterday.

Hooray for getting older!