waiting for maybe

i have sweaty palms and there is an empty nothingness where my stomach should be and my heart beats faster than normal and i keep swallowing and my attention span is terribly short. there are so many things, intangible and possibly imaginary, that ride on the approaching moment that i feel a little like death. if the moment should pass and the outcome not be to my desire, i know other moments would come but OH IT WOULD BE SO NICE TO BE DONE SEARCHING!!!!