It has not been a good year for mittens, hats and scarves at the Garrett residence. Sadly, many have chosen to run away rather than live with the constant stress of keeping my extremities warm. It's been tough. I personally have been enjoying the bitter winds, many inches of snow and the incessant face-biting of each winter storm, but they have been worked to the core and after demandig a raise which I could not in good conscience grant, they have moved on to bigger and better pastures. Or gutters. I don't really know.
My most devastating loss was indeed the red hat, purchased on a whim and delighted in for it's fashionable and modern twist on keeping the head warm. But by far the most baffling disappearance was that of a true staple piece, the acrylic woven black hat, last seen as it was being thrown off the end of the bed in the moments before I drifted off to sleep some few nights ago.
The next morning I went to grab it from the floor and it was not there. I assumed it made it's way under the bed and chose not to worry, grabbed a more fashionable, less sensible piece for the morning commute. My ears were cold that day, but I looked good. The next day, reason again overtook me and I set out to discover the wearabouts of the aforementioned 'staple' piece and to my surprise, I could not find it. I even got a flashlight to assist in the search. After more time than I had went by, I dug through the reserves and pulled out a matching hat and scarf set that I have long-since loathed, manifested detachment and left the house.
Now for the first time all winter am I finally joining the ranks of "I wish it was over already" but my reasons are...unique. All I can figure is that the Hat Monster took my baby away. I thought he didn't exist....but, sigh, I guess that he does.
6 comments:
I had been wondering where the red hat had gone. I've been making a lot of hats of late in order to decrease my yarn stash. I will see what I have lying around.
that same monster took my black gloves! rat bastard! but he hasn't gotten the best of me... i had red mittens in reserve. suck on that, hat/glove monster! (evil laugh) hehehehheheheh
Yeah, he's a sneaky one that Monster. Very Sneaky. He's got me good, I'll admit. But I'll not be beat. NEVER!
Hahahaha this was very enjoyable to read. You are a good writer my dear friend. Tell me a story Auntie Leslie. Lol.
maybe it went to the same place as did the stuff under your sink...?
that is horrifying, lauren, and i want to thank you for reminding me of the thing i try to avoid thinking about. really. thanks!
but no, the thought had crossed my mind and the truth is there is no reason for a rat to steal a hat bigger and heavier than it and drag it more than a couple of rat miles to the bathroom and open the cupboard and pull it through a hole that is smaller than the hat. there is no effin way. again, though, thanks for the reminder! my landlord and the exterminator have been by a few times since you were last at my place and i again live under the assumption (no matter how false) that furry creatures are not in residence. also i found the hat this morning. yay!
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