Overstated, Overwhelmed and Overjoyed

I've been pondering these last few days about how to blog about this thing in my life, how do I break the news, and, as with everything, each moment of decisiveness was informed by my mood at the time.

My mood has been apprehensive, giddy, suspicious and fearful, joyous, celebratory, knowing, doubtful, satisfied, scared, excited, impatient and so full of determination that I am not sure the self I knew is the self I am.

I have never wanted anything so bad. I have never been so convinced and I have never been so willing to work hard and learn fast and do what it takes and I am genuinely excited and equally scared of where that will take me.

See, the thing is, I got my dream job. I did. I got the number one, best job, made for me, job of my dreams and I am so tickled and scared of my success that I am not sure what to do with myself.

The process was so fast and God-inspired that I know divinity was intervening and not remotely subtly. Basically on Monday of last week, I called this company, a company I coveted for the last two years, sent my resume to several times, and subsequently had given up for lost. I don't know what prompted me to put myself out there again, but I did. And somehow, I got in touch with the Director of the department, and managed to give a quick spiel of my zeal that impressed. I was unable to send my resume to him until Tuesday, but when he got it, he called me right away. Here's how it went in short term: Monday, call. Tuesday, resume sent and then phone interview. Wednesday, in-person interview. Thursday, in-person interview. Friday-job offer. Following Wednesday-start date. Got my job in basically one weeks time. Hot damn.

It will take me awhile to get back on my feet financially, maybe a couple months. But I will and I will be better and more secure than before. I will be more content as well, knowing that my efforts are going towards something that really matters to me, something I can stand behind and be directly rewarded for.


That being said, I am also afraid I could wake up from this dream of mine. A part of me feels unworthy, I know I am worthy but I am not sure my heart always agrees with my head. Each day on the new job will build that confidence, I am sure.

But for now.....wooooooooooooofuckinghooooooooo!!!!!!!