List of Things I Don't Want to Do the Night Before Taxes are Due

1. My taxes




Oh.





That's pretty much it.

Just wondering

Is it acceptable to respond to people on dating websites the way you would in person?

Or, because it is a dating website, do you have to be all strategic and selective? Generally speaking, in the real world, if someone says "Hey!" I say "Hey," and if someone says "What kind of cheese do you like?" I say "Gouda!" Or something like that.

But here, oh god, here......in the interwebby world of romance...

I feel bad talking about some of the guys who approach/contact me...which is why I haven't. But every once in a while a guy who is decidedly younger than my preferred range of age will send me a message. And sometimes...he will send me LOTS of messages before I have decided whether or not to respond....and I just want to say..."Hey Kiddo!" and leave it at that.

Just.... "Hey Kiddo!" and see what they say.

When they seem nice, and fairly attractive, I feel compelled to respond.. But what I actually do is check their profile, check FB, then go wash dishes.

I did meet a fantastic guy in the real world and he seemed into me but after a few days of silence on his end, I have to conclude that he was actually NOT into me. Good thing I didn't do anything humiliating like show up on his doorstep with a dozen roses. Get really drunk and leave a thousand messages on his phone like "Why! Whyyyyyyyhayhayaeyeyuh haven't you called me?"

Yep. I am totally well-adjusted and handle rejection well. (Lemme just go toss out these wilting roses...just kidding!)

Is this what you think of me?

I told a co-worker that I went on a date the other day and she began asking me all about him. I told her how we met (at a wedding) and how the date itself transpired (brunch and a walk by the river), and without missing a beat, she asks me if he was single.

Is he single? As in, did I just go on a date with a married man? Or are you interested in dating him?

Either way.....really?

I mean, wait, no......really?

Packing Dilemma

I hate that every single dress I own (which is a modest 9) has been ruthlessly showcased on FB because my stupid friends think every meal or outing has to be immortalized (which is fine) and publicized (which is less fine).

It makes actual special events, like one's father's birthday, hard to pack for. I begin to wish I had a new dress, I begin to contemplate buying one, I begin to justify the not-planned-for, added stress to an already stressed out budget, I begin to imagine being able to fit in a trip to the mall between the warmly anticipated brunch date (am I paying for that too since I asked him?) and the actual surprise birthday dinner.

Social media makes fashion hard.

And clearly keeps me up past my bedtime.

This happened....just now.

Came home.

Threw on a favorite pair of sweats.

Thought to myself:


UGH.

GROSS.

WHAT HAPPENED? (Must be that burger you ate)

MUST HAVE GAINED FIVE POUNDS.

WHY DO THESE FEEL WEIRD ON MY THIGHS AND TUMMY?

IT'S YOUR FAULT, I say to me.

I shrugged it off and checked FB. I told myself I would get off FB in just a few minutes, but an hour went by. I finally got up to wash dishes. I still have to pack tonight. I sank into the couch and checked FB again. WHY AM I LOOKING FOR A DISTRACTION? NOTHING IS HAPPENING ON FB.

I stood up.

Reach my hands for my pockets. Only to realize these dang sweatpants are on backwards.

Switched back, feeling fine and somewhat chagrined at how mean I am to myself.

#workingonthat