How to Win Friends and Influence People

I have decided to reread this book. I read it the first time about 2007 or so, and remember being very inspired, but I did not actively put the book to practice as it so clearly recommends. Nonetheless I found my life improved by it. Maybe not drastically so, but improved.

Now I want to try again. As the book recommends, I am reading each chapter twice. I hope I have the perseverance to finish this way of reading it. I have a tendency to let things go, and not in a good way!

The first task I am working on is to not criticize people. This is a hard one for me. Although I am  a kind and friendly person, I criticize people all the time. Not to their faces, of course (...cuz I am kind and friendly, remember? I just said that, geez, get it together!) but in my head. It's pretty constant, too. Depending on my environment, it's a cacophony of seething, relentless, spiteful and degrading commentary. "You're such a brand snob," "You're not really working, you are just on FB," "No one cares about that band," "You don't like that style of pants because you have no ass," "Wow, you really are not that intelligent."

Yeah. It's bad. I have my work cut out for me. See the things is, although Dale Carnegie talks about verbal criticism, (and I do this as well, but not nearly as often) it's clear to me that ANY type of criticism is toxic, and my ability to develop sincere appreciation for the people I come into contact with (which is the next chapter of the book) is severely hampered when I am constantly criticizing them in my head.

Why do I do this? Why does anyone? Do we really pay attention to our inner dialogue, do we ask ourselves where that inclination, that habit of judging really comes from? Do you look at people, strangers and friends, and judge them all the time, or do you compare yourself to them and find yourself lacking? I am working on finding the root of my own tendency to do this, and in the meantime, I am going to practice eradicating criticism from my heart, mind and from my dialogue. I will let you know how it goes.