remember how i lost my wallet? truth is i threw it away. didn't realize it until it was too late.
threw it away in a shopping bag. along with the receipt to the world's most expensive bra. yes, i said bra. i needed a new one. and i had a gift cert that i used to buy it at VS, it was more than $50. i did not throw the bra away. but i did realize a day or two later that the electronic magnetic tag thingy was still on. how did i get out the store without the loud and embarassing beep beep beeping at the door? your guess is as good as mine.
now the problem: how to remove the tag???could i take it back to the store? without the bag or receipt? i have been thinking about it for days-imagining the cops walking up behind me as i tell my story to the cashier, "No really, I swear I bought it here, I just threw away all evidence, um, I mean..."
no, i decided, the answer was to macgyver my way through the tag, crash course to thievery, or something like that. last night i tried to cut the metal part with a knife. didn't work. tried to pry it open with a fork. didn't work. banged it on the counter. didn't work. today i called the one person i know who spent a good portion of adolescence shoplifting or hanging out with shoplifters. i asked her not to be offended that i was asking, she wasn't. she said something about just having to poke a hole in the material and pulling it through and being content with a hole in your new item. it sounded ok so when i got home i tried using the hammer. hammer was actually encouraging because the pieces of plastic were flying off giving me the impression(false) that the hammer would work. but it didn't. i went online to see if i could find out some snazzy way to demagnetize the tag-you can actually do it if you have a power drill and a strong magnet-ihave neither. so i got the scissors and tried to cut the metal. didn't work. broke the scissors. bruised my hand and cut my palm. i am brilliant. then and only then i sighed. and tugged and pulled and tugged again until i had created a hole big enough to indeed pull it through. sigh. my hand hurts.
2 comments:
i like this story. i felt apart of the incident the whole time i was reading. i was actually starting to think of people you could call for assistance until i got to the line where you said you called the one person you knew with the most adolescent shoplifting experience. i was right there with you!
sorry your hand hurts.
kari
in case you were confused, 'too late' means the wallet is now somewhere in dumpster land, irretrievable......$40 and cards and all....i did get a new wallet. it is red. most of my cards that i thought of have been replaced but i am still out $40. and two gift certifcates, target and manicure. boo.
odelia
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