addiction

i know i am usually pretty forthright in my writing, revealing more than many would. but suffice it to say what i do write about sometimes barely scratches the surface at what i think or experience. lately i have been going through something that is more than what i would write about here.

suffice it to say i have been feeling some urges lately. not to smoke. which is interesting. but definitiely to go on a HUGE bender and get myself so drunk that i barf for three days straight. i haven't done it yet. i wish i could. this whole eliminating of the unhealthy addictions has done wonders for thrusting me face-to-face with the dregs of pain that i have been holding deep in my belly for many years. right now i am contemplating going to my favorite restaurant and ordering so much food i literally go into a food coma. this is my addiction rearing it's ugly head. go away. we don't want you here.