this weekend i slept a whole wide bunch and it was nice. think i was fighting a cold. also i went on a blind date. it was pleasant. nice fellow. no future romantically i think but perhaps a new friend? he is an astrophysicist, which was interesting enough. went to a talk and a party and vacillated between contentment and discontent-as to be expected when one is genuinely working to define love and interact with loved ones and potential loved ones at the same time. had a 2.5 hour conversation with a very beloved friend in Haifa. further solidified my newly developing belief and definition of love as action. good friends always help you clarify murky thought. overall it was a good weekend.
i have 'the good life' by kanye in my head and i am still at work. i have been in this building for 11 hours. it is time to go home. good night, good life.
4 comments:
when u told me about that dude, i thought "where the hell is he working in chicago?" i think i would be asking hime questions all the time (and clearly u did most of the date) i'm still not happy that he wasn't as inquisitive about you, dear one. he may need a class in Dating 101 - How to learn about your date by ASKING her questions about HER. queer. he's in the friend column.
you know it was never really about that, ingrid. if i were to go into this with the expectation that the men i meet should all know intrinsically how to treat a woman on a date, i would be seriously masochistic right now and figuratively hitting myself in the gut every time i went out on a date. because the fact is, based on personal experience, MOST men i have met have very little vested interest in taking the time to get to know me truly, of asking questions and then listening and then making the effort to understand. just because i am operating through a somewhat organized structure now hardly precludes the men in said structure from behaving in the same manner as every other man or boy that i have ever met....you know? the good news about that is that when i am interacting with the right person, it ought to be abundantly clear that i should take time to get to know him and see where it could take me. that being said, there are those mack daddy types who are good at the right things but for the wrong purpose, and a little restraint on my part should weed those out pretty quickly, too, i think. honestly though, if i attach an expectation of how people SHOULD behave to the people i meet, rather than strive to maintain an open and forgiving heart, then i will be disappointed. the ultimate goal, for me in this, is of course to practice just that-detachment, openness, honesty, communication and forgiveness while at the same time holding close to me a sense of justice to me-allowing myself to engage in interactions without eliciting a painful past injustice and without allowing present people to mistreat me as well.
not asking questions isn't so much an injustice as evidence, to me, of that person's inability to engage with me on the level i wish to be engaged on for romantic reasons. as an acquaintance, the standards are different and overall i am ok with it...you know?
I hear ya. You're my hero, lady:-)
i blush now.
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