im pretty sure this is me venting a little

i am very cranky today. my natural state of being is 'lazy' and i have not been very respectful of that lately. i have even said the f-word a few times today, and i am not a swearer.

do you ever feel like you are sliding over ice (very thin and breakable) when trying to communicate with someone? i called a company to determine if they produce a certain type of steel and instead of answering my question i was given a spiel and i was completely unable to recover and determine whether what the person was saying was in any way an answer to my question. i re-asked my question and was given another spiel with a slightly defensive edge to it and again i was unable to find the means to clarify the encounter. finally i just told him i did not understand what he was saying and asked him for his email-maybe the written word will pull me out of the icy waters i've fallen in.

either way, i am cranky and i've just told my teammates that i cannot make the vball game tonight, which makes me feel relieved because now dirty clothes can get cleaned and food prepared for the week and sleep acquired but makes me feel guilty because i am the only girl who showed up last time (it's upper inter 4's) and my other female teammates do not show they will have to forfeit-and we are a decently good and competitve team. plus, i like vball so i miss it when i don't do it.

all i know is i need to be honorable to my natural state of being very soon...perhaps in the form of a few days off from work??? i do get that whole 4 week thing to think about. grr. argh.